Stupid me.

Love sucks. Falling in love sucks even more. Because at that point you know you can do anything for a person, even when you know that person won’t ever return your feelings the way you want them to.

I fell in love. With the wrong person, at the wrong time. I know he would never feel anything for me but what can a girl do except for hope?

Sometimes we don’t talk for weeks. Even months but when we do, it seems like we never stopped talking. He makes me feel all those butterflies and makes me smile so much my cheeks hurt. But then, he just wants to have fun with me. Wants to be my friend with “benefits” And I’m so stupidly in love with him, I actually agree to it. 

And then, me being so utterly stupid, ends up admitting to him that I love him. Every damn time. Damn its stupid of me. Because he completely ignores what I have just said and pretends I never said anything. And that’s when I realize how completely and utterly stupid I am, which leads us to not talking.

A few months later. he starts talking to me again. And i find myself even more in love with him. I start talking to him again, as if I just hadn’t had my heart broken the last time. Hence the cycle continues.

It’s been five years. And sadly? I can’t get over him. And  I know I’m fucking stupid.